For someone who lives in a word of fucked up shit and insanity, my life has been fairly quiet of late - I have genuinely had little crazy shit to write about.
I mean, last night I spent sometime waving goodbye to a blind man, before my friend pointed out that he couldn't see us... but in all fairness, that's more on the side of scatty than fucked up.
So today my friend came over and told me a story, and it just really made me laugh - So simple and short as it may be, I thought I would share it.
This friend, may not want you knowing all this, so for the sake of what is left of her dignity, I shall call her Mildred!
Now Mildred suffers quite badly with IBS and if you know much about it, you know when you gotta go, you gotta go. She was having quite a bad time with it and on this morning had gotten up for her morning shit.
Sitting there, Mildred was - liquid shit pouring out of her ass, and she can hear her dog (A very lovely, playful staffie, who get's easily over excitable) he is snorting and snuffing around like he is fighting something. All of a sudden, he starts to bash his head against the bathroom door, until he forces it open - stands in the bathroom and outof no-where (figuratively speaking - not literally) he shoots his load all over the bathroom floor.
Poor Mildred is sat there - shit running out of her - so she can't move dog spaff all over the bathroom floor and nothing she can do!
So yeah, short tale, but amused the fuck out of me - so here it is.
And for those wondering ... Mildred is a real friend - if it was me, I would have happily said. Also I have a cat and no IBS.
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